imiss'em

These days made me realize how much I really miss my twins =(

and my triplets =(

dejected

Im just so utterly confused about everything that i dont even know what to do next.

i hate when im indecisive, because then i feel like i don’t know who i am because i don’t know what i want.

Indecisive

Thinking about the future is something that has always frightened me.

perhaps it is one of the reasons why i've always been so drawn to procrastination, putting things off, and telling myself that i will do them later.

i have gone so far as to make it a daily habit; to avoid the idea of the future as much as i possibly could.

it may just be a revelation that i’ve had lately, especially with the direction that my life has been taking during these past 3 years,

but i’ve decided that i cant avoid the future forever.

i have to start somewhere, finally deciding on what i need and where i want to go.

i have a strong feeling that ill have a lot of very important decisions to make during the next few months.

live life

you can say what you want..

but i want to live moment to moment..

our brains are always regretting and guiding us one way because of the past..

our past mistakes, our past choices, and on and on..

our brains are always looking towards the future..

the future that holds so much promise, and hope, and a better tomorrow..

but our bodies are stuck in the now, the N-O-fucking-W..

no matter how much our minds wander, don’t matter..

that’s why i’m going to try to coincide my mind with the body, and live moment to moment

i’m not going to disregard the consequences, past mistakes…

but i’m going to just live life better by fully enjoying the moment i have.

let it

tomorrow might heal you nothing when you just use most time of your today to think about yesterday.

well, you gotta know that you’re the only person who write your own story,

don’t let destiny or whatsoever take control of your life,

you’re the one who control them.

post 157

You’ll miss it after a while.

it’s been 2weeks since i graduated, and im kinda jealous of you guys who going to college.

mainly just for being able to get out of the house, and be with friends :(

so, appreciate that you’re in college.

pretty much, once you get out, life starts for you, and it’s not easy.

junio stuff

Randomly remembering good times and smiling like an idiot..

keep your hopes high and never let your life pass you by.

loves ♥

2ne1

legally 21st and its a next stage of life.

move on girl, move on.

you deserve nothing but the best.

my family and babes love me more than you do..

and i love them more than they could, even than myself..

you guys are the best i ever had..

xoxo

ain't you

I really wonder why people suddenly change after they get what they wanted.

one day they are sweet, the next day, they are not.

one day they are here, the next day they are not.

one day you are important them, the next day you are worthless.

one day they say they love you, the next day they don't care bout you.

That's how ironic things and people can be.

pretty shits, pretty lies, pretty fucked up.

but it's still your choice.

cause you choose to get Hurt.

when you choose to be in Love.

serious?

And it’s surprising how someone's words or attitude can completely change our mood..

what am I suppossed to do when everything start falling apart?

should I quickly pick up all the pieces and try to fix the whole thing up while it keeps falling..

or should I just silently watch how the whole thing is falling apart

and then just sweep all the pieces and throw them in garbage bag?

I want to be strong but I’m full of broken thoughts I cant repair,

but now I can just only cry on my pillow wishing a better tomorrow cause I'm not still ready to leave,

I’m not yet hurt enough to quit this battle..

post 151

我不会受伤，不会因为这点事受伤

听说 钻石 是不会受伤的

她很坚固，很美丽，很闪耀

但是 她也很坚强 所以不会受伤

我 也想要有一颗 像钻石般的 心

这样 就不会受伤了

fact

I admit,

i really miss how things used to be.

but i can also admit,

that i've accepted the fact that things changed.

pierced heart

there are some people say,

"never give up on anybody.

miracles happen everyday."

perhaps..i really have to move on this time.

somehow its been a moment ever since the day..

but i never really lose any one piece of my belief and faith on it still..

by the same time..this broken heart never seems to be recover..

it still aching, still weeping like fresh every time those lancinating memories flash back..

i miss you. wonder if u miss me so?

label us

maybe some labels are best left in the closet..

maybe when we label people,

we forget to look past the label to the person.

and i hope us, could dressed head to toe in love..

and that's the one label..

...that never goes out of style.

ever ours

my thoughts go out to you, my immortal beloved..

i can live only with you or not at all..

be calm my life my all..

only by calm consideration of our existence

can we achive our purpose to live together..

continue to love me..

never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved (me).

ever thine ever mine ever ours.

2011

The trees will keep growing

even after you're gone,

and I need to see this new world

with my brand new eyes.

A brand new start..

Me. Cecilia.