a person

I’m actually on my own, when I needed someone.
But that someone believe that you should handle your own issue, and walk away.
And that night, I left all alone by myself, in that cold room crying, sobbing and thinking who else I can talk to? Mom? Dad? Brother? Friends? Pets? Social media?Who?

No One.

There’s when I see myself helpless.
I’m actually solo.

人家的实现

他们总是用金钱来衡量事物，
认为家人给的红包一定要比别人的来的丰厚。
嘴说 “无所谓，一家人别那么客气。” 可是肢体行动非也。
他们会抱着厚望，尤其兄弟姐妹的，绝对不可以少过外别人。
那是什么概念，何谓心意？

wound

Maybe I shouldn't take on this path only to realize how wounded I am now.

Maybe I shouldn't believe those fantasy only to realize how cruel it actually is.

bloop

When you realize your expectations are selfish,

then you'll know whom to blame your disappointments on

break down

Always think that Im getting stronger as days goes by..

Nothing could bother me, nothing could affect me..

I tried so hard not to give a shit on things that might come in their way to weaken me..

But the more I hold down myself, the more I know that I actually care..

ni.ght

I want to sleep with you.

I dont mean to have sex.

I mean sleep. Together.

Under my blankets. In my bed.

With my hand on your chest and your arm around me.

With the window cracked, so it's chilly and we have to cuddle closer.

No talking, just sleepy, blissfully happy, silence.

Day20

I just wish I knew the truth

It wouldnt make anything better

but I would have that peace of mind

knowing that I didnt waste my time on you,

But if it is all lie that is ok too
because you have taught me a great lesson.

What if

What happens when the water runs away?

What happens when the sunlight starts to fade?

What happens when I love you comes to late?

What happens when you got no more to give?

What happens when there's nothing left to live for?

What happens when the one you love is not the one you're with?

What happens when your best is not enough?

What happens when your soul mate is already in love?

What happens when your lucky numbers wrong?

What happens when you lose someone you've always counted on?

What happens when it feels like life's just stringing you along?

How you meant to pick the pieces up?

No ones scared of flying, were just scared of crashing down

No ones scared of falling, were just scared to hit the ground

Even if your heart gets broke, you're stronger then you'll ever know

We don't need much, much of anything no

Just the hope of what tomorrow brings

Nothing last

Sometimes I cross my arms over my chest and press down real hard,

because it feels like I’m about to fall apart and I’m the only thing holding myself together

“Nothing ever last forever”

the truth that you leave

Didn't mean the things i said to you that night

baby, didn't think that you would say your last goodbye

couldn't just say sorry and admit it i know you were right

with my temper always flaring causing you and i

to be fighting over little stupid nothings every single day

now it's ended with you leaving stay away

All around me, silence, how'd we get this way

Thinking you'll be coming back, calling the next day

Baby i know that I'm treating you so bad, i wanna be good to you, and it's hard to do cause everyday and night I'm so mean cause I'm so real so I'm sorry

I know that you love me but i'm sorry i'm a bad girl

if you stay with me then, you will only see that, i can never be what you want

but Baby don't leave me, I know you still love me,

tell me what's wrong

Honestly, I need you

I'm standing right beside you always smiling

now i'm crying, gone and i'm alone, still thinking what went wrong

excuses that you're busy, and though you're feeling sorry,

with my wrangle, you just turn away

I dreamt that you would be my forever

now you're just a friend in life

breaking up it hurts a lot

so silence now, seems thats all we've got

Im not so tough, the inside of me's not,

so don't leave me hurt,

you've been the only and now you're all I've got,

Don't leave me babe, you're the only one who knows me,

Please babe come back to me.

sleepless thought I

Love is invaluable, it dont cost a thing.

dont think of whose love is more precious for the sacrifices make, it is incomparable.

love workout with 2 hearts, what you treat will comes in return.

if you really did, the one who receive will feel it involuntary.

imiss'em

These days made me realize how much I really miss my twins =(

and my triplets =(

dejected

Im just so utterly confused about everything that i dont even know what to do next.

i hate when im indecisive, because then i feel like i don’t know who i am because i don’t know what i want.

Indecisive

Thinking about the future is something that has always frightened me.

perhaps it is one of the reasons why i've always been so drawn to procrastination, putting things off, and telling myself that i will do them later.

i have gone so far as to make it a daily habit; to avoid the idea of the future as much as i possibly could.

it may just be a revelation that i’ve had lately, especially with the direction that my life has been taking during these past 3 years,

but i’ve decided that i cant avoid the future forever.

i have to start somewhere, finally deciding on what i need and where i want to go.

i have a strong feeling that ill have a lot of very important decisions to make during the next few months.

live life

you can say what you want..

but i want to live moment to moment..

our brains are always regretting and guiding us one way because of the past..

our past mistakes, our past choices, and on and on..

our brains are always looking towards the future..

the future that holds so much promise, and hope, and a better tomorrow..

but our bodies are stuck in the now, the N-O-fucking-W..

no matter how much our minds wander, don’t matter..

that’s why i’m going to try to coincide my mind with the body, and live moment to moment

i’m not going to disregard the consequences, past mistakes…

but i’m going to just live life better by fully enjoying the moment i have.

let it

tomorrow might heal you nothing when you just use most time of your today to think about yesterday.

well, you gotta know that you’re the only person who write your own story,

don’t let destiny or whatsoever take control of your life,

you’re the one who control them.

post 157

You’ll miss it after a while.

it’s been 2weeks since i graduated, and im kinda jealous of you guys who going to college.

mainly just for being able to get out of the house, and be with friends :(

so, appreciate that you’re in college.

pretty much, once you get out, life starts for you, and it’s not easy.

junio stuff

Randomly remembering good times and smiling like an idiot..

keep your hopes high and never let your life pass you by.

loves ♥

2ne1

legally 21st and its a next stage of life.

move on girl, move on.

you deserve nothing but the best.

my family and babes love me more than you do..

and i love them more than they could, even than myself..

you guys are the best i ever had..

xoxo

ain't you

I really wonder why people suddenly change after they get what they wanted.

one day they are sweet, the next day, they are not.

one day they are here, the next day they are not.

one day you are important them, the next day you are worthless.

one day they say they love you, the next day they don't care bout you.

That's how ironic things and people can be.

pretty shits, pretty lies, pretty fucked up.

but it's still your choice.

cause you choose to get Hurt.

when you choose to be in Love.