change

afterall..it just an empty shell..
goin to be 20 soon..
realise actually im not that grown..
dunno a single shit basic things in life..

been so long for living but i got learn nothing at all..
im a... nit say it all..
i would like to thanks to whoever willing to grab a knife and stab into me but without pain..

or can i ask for doomsday by tomorrow?

this feeling is totally unpleasant to me..

i never been fear this much..NEVER..
thought i can face everything well as it is a problem that is mean to solve..
but no matter how strong i think i am..
there always will be a bane that she is totally can help in it..

then only knew actually i was a failure..

not that strong but weak indeed..
im so lost now, frankly..been trembling for wondering..

dont wish things ruin up coz of me myself.. it aint worth..
sometimes i just dont know why im that chump..
i got many things to tell from my inner feeling..
i wish i could be an outspoken one..
so that it wont accumulate that much..
i dare to say i never fail my telepathy..

but now i lost the ability for a sudden..

and it cost me the time to figure out hard..

i hope it is no late to learn the ways of the world..

wait me kays, as im on my way to be a better girl..

a more intelligent sensible one..

thanks you..because of you..

i begin to know the world..