if i were a boy?

i went for a haircut this afternoon..

and this how it look..i just cut off my previous hairstyle to this short hair..

i dunno why..maybe..im trying learn to let go?

coz he told me before that he like his gf own a long hair..

and i promise him to keep it long when i graduate..

but now..i cut it..and i just CUT IT OFF!!

is that mean i give up on him?

or i just been tired for it?

i also dunno..

i really dunno how i feel now..

my holidays SUCK!

well..after having 1 month sem break..

here come my brand new sem..

im gonna prepare for it..

wonder how will it be?

stress like hell or just relaxing..

i dont know..

anyway..just wanna tell u guys how i spent my holidays..

haish..actually..my holidays suck..

everythings screw up..

coz my grandpa accident..he just get bang by a lorry..

dunno why when i heard it i laugh my ass out..

i know its wrong..so i feel guilty after the laugh..

SORRY AH GONG!!

what to do??

family 1st..

so i just can spent my everyday everysec in my hometown..

i drove the car all around for nothings..

i sleep everyday to kill the time..

i surf the net everyhours for a little entertainment..

i eat every single time for fun..

lucikly my sayang is back..

we went out whenever we are free..

if not i really kill by felling bored..

love you sayang!!

few more days thn i'll be back to penang..

so..wait for me!!

meet up after the farewell

today afternoon..
we (me,dayna,heng,fei,ndee,jason,gan) meet at old town cafe yum cha..
we talk bout this n that..
we dint meet for a long time tho..
but each of us dint change much..^^
jason said wanna have a haircut..
then we bring him to first saloon..
haha..
not bad..quite nice the hairstyle for him..
at nite..5 of us went to played bowling except jason..
funny+silly things happen coz of eheng..
told u what..he just fall into the lane coz of a free throw..
n everyone was looking at him..what a shame..
neway..i enjoy spending my day with my buddy..^^

meet sayang♥

early in the morning..

the story begin..

8.56am..
my hp rang..
i take a look..
and is dayna calling me..
i dint answer..
coz i wanna slp..

9.50am..
rang again..
and i just ignored it..
haha..blek~

11.00am..
i woke up..
brush my teeth..
have my breakfast..
thn realize that someone called me just morning..
sms to my sayang-dayna..
chit-chat after a few sms..
we had decided to go out yamcha..
hooray~

12.00noon
she reached my house..
we had drove around the town..
but no where else to go..
here kinda bored..>.<

12.46noon..
reach spring's leaf cafe..
finally found a place to sit down..^^
we sembang there..
the atmosphere there quite nice..
1st impression-GOOD..
she just came back from U.K.
and i just came back from penang..
hmm..feel good when we meet up..
we really have many things to talk about..*gossip*

13.35pm
we went to ct plaza..
haish..
something happened at the slope when going up to the car park..=="
dayna scarped her car-ESTIMA..>.<
jeez..we was O.M.G~
dayna said her mom gonna kill her if she konw that..
coz her car was just respray 2 days ago..
know get scrape again..
after go shopping at guardian..
we try to look for a shop that could help us to touch up a little bit on it..
been going shop to shop..finding for the possible one..
because its friday,no one is open..
and some cant make it for just a little scratch..

BUT..thanks lotss for her uncle help..
we found a shop..they did for us..
it cost 80 bucks and it look like brand new after around an hour..^^
haha..dayna..you're lucky..

16.24pm..
home..

despair

sorry..

sorry for what i had did this morning..

i know all of you had been looking good on me..

and yet i had make you guys feel dissapointed..
i really dunno how to say my feeling out at this moment..

there are non of the words that i can descripe my feeling now..

i feel so so sorry when i looked at those dissapointing face..

especially the one that had high expectation on me since the begining till now..

they know i can did a better work..

but with the art work like this..

the feeling of despair comes around..

for now..i swear..

i swear i wont let you guys dissapoint..

i will show all of you that im still the most good student in the class..

im will always be the top student nor designer..

Cecilia gonna make it..

i give up my reputation..

bye..prom nite..

i know we'll meet someday..

but now is not the time..

you'll be my dream always..

sunshine,beach,me..

woohoo..sun n beach..i love u both~

im some kind of emo today..

so..not happy when i reach by the beach..

the sun smile at me so friendly today..

but it still cant cheer myself up..

but its okay..at least i feel better when i scream my heart out..^^

thanx you coz you always be with me and be my emo dusbin whenever i need you..

brand new me~

hulala..just now went for a haircut..

and i change my hairstyle again..
hope with a new hairstyle..
i would have a brand new life..
i doesn't care what you guys comment on it..
if you cant accept how it looks..
just ignore me..
but what i wanna said is..
this is me..CECILIA..
i like things to be special to be unique..
i want to be the one and only..

cecilism

CECILIA!!

you're just a loser!!

deal with it!!

nobody seem to care about you..you just face the truth..

who do you think you are huh?

what do you still expect from others with a girl like you?

you are nothing!

you're just a stupid on the earth..

nobody take attention on you..

you just a transparent soul..

you are a nerd!

the one you loved..

the one you cared..

the one you hope..

are leaving you..

you have nothing..

you just simply let go the chances that waiting for you..

you dint apperciate what you have at all..

this is your nemesis..

you just simply admit that you are a failure!!

love TVfXQ

I

them

our friendship

emoiest me

i want to be concern to be care.

but no one ever did that to me.

i couldn't said how i feel so i cried.

i cried cuz i care.

of mayb i'm not tough enough..

tears are words from the heart that cant be spoken and will help us learn and grow.

so we better off to let them flow.

i couldn't shake off the feeling of being left behind.

everyone else's life was moving on except mine.

i'm just drifting away from the people i really need.

i'm just a loser.

nobody loves me.

nobody needs me.

nobody wants me.

i'm just a rubbish.

my life was suck!!

i miss you

I am your puppet
The Pain The Hurt
You are my favourite memories
You taught me NEVER BElieVE
HELP ME!!

my heart is broken
I cant live without you!!
NEVER fake a smile anymore
you are leaving and never looking back again

Everything is reminding me you gone forever
WHAT TO DO?

i dont want to know that there is no more you in my life

if tears could make us pretty

i would be the prettiest one
why cant I hate you

i will never forget bout you ♥
no one can replace you

I cant accept what was happen

I cant stop thinking what you said actually

I had expected what will happen

but I just cant accept UNEXPECTED!!

I miss you

miss you lots lots lots!!

I wish I was physically weak

I wish I meet with an accident or an incident..

any serious case or even die
I'm too envy those who are frail and sick
I WANT TO KNOW..

if i die

what's your respond?
I want to know

I need to know
suck meaningless life
I am Loser
and
somebody unimportant

i want a guy!!

i want a guy..

who would move the hair away from my eyes and kiss me..

hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous..

someone who would SING to me at random moments..

who would let me sleep on thier chest..

the BOY who would get mad when someone if they called me ugly or was mean to me..

i want someone who would call me 3 times a day if he went away..

someone who will let me gossip to him and would just smile and agree with anything i said..

he would throw stuffed animals at me when i acted dumb and

kiss me a million times..

someone who would make fun for me just to make me laugh..

he would take me take me to the park and put his hands around my waist and give me big bear hug all the time..

he would tell all his friends about me and smile when he did it..

and we'd make out in the pouring rain..

he would never be afraid to say "I LOVE YOU" infront of his friends..

and we'd argue about silly things then make up..

i want a boy that would kiss me at the midnight on new year and count star with me..

who would stay home with me on friday night just to help me make dinner & watch movies together under the same blanket..

someone who would tell me i'm beautiful but not too often..

who would make me laugh like no one else could..

but mostly i want someone who would be my best friends and would never

break my heart..

the crash

just come back from college..

feel sleeppy so..(zzZ~)

ahha..tell you what was happened last night..

its in midnight!! MIDNIGHT!!~~

you know..our room rentier (we mostly call her as "laohuli")

she suddenly get mad with us with just a little card hanging on the door write..

'please knock the door'

does these words got any problem?

she "ping pong ping pong" on the door..

what the heck..its midnight please..be quiet lar~

i also dunno whats her problem..she just keep yelling at us..

5 of us was........huh??whats her problem?

so crazy man..yelling at us like a stupid dog barked..

hoiyoyo..i was chatting with my friend so happy..

and suddenly she came in and tollaly try to mess up with me..

my mood was totally bad that time..

i really cant stand her..in and out 3times..

scolding us because of the small little card?

so annoying..damn it..

its enough for me..everyone has a limit..

you this big fat old lady..

we just rent your room..make it clear..

we did pay you the rental ok??

we not your daughter or else..

we have no any relationship with u at all..

listen clearly..NO AT ALL!!

so make yourself 100% clear bout it..

if u still repeat what you did last night..

i sure will revenge your words badly and more even worst than what i did to you last night..

buddy FEI

fei~happy birthday..

you this "problem maker"..

haiz..dint go clubbing with u guys..

but anyway..hope you enjoy your BIG day~

hate you!!

argh..hate you!!

for the you out there..listen clearly..

its been a long time that i had stand your temper..
now i cant stand it anymore..

since i was young till now..you never change your temper..

you never ever..but make it more worst than before..

you please shut those craps *toot* up..

i dont wanna listen to your "bible" anymore..

please dont ever think that what ever you did is definately correct..

dont force others to follow your stupid theory..

its not always the right like you thought..it might be false also..

dont always think that money is the only way..

of course i know that money is important and can solve many things..

BUT did you know that..money is not always the only way..?

there are still a better way to solve problems other than argue,throwing your temper on us or showing your anger..stop yelling!!

although this might make us more understand you but this make me more hate you..

everytime you close to me..im scared..

cuz..i really dunno when you will explode again..

i still clearly remember how you humillate me last time..every words that come out from your mouth i still clearly remember on my mind..

i would *never ever forget* those..

im no longer a small girl..please..give me some space to breath..i need some freedom..i need to search my own life now..i got my own activities,my friends,my dreams..

no matter how good are you to me..but i still hate you..hate you more than i do..

~sorry..i really cant stand it anymore..~

enjoyable

bB has a small party at her house..
its a party to celebrate exue's 5th oct birthday..
of course im joining into it..haha..
we went to order pizza..
then her mum prepare us some food..like..
chicken wing and fried noodles..
and also baked a cake for the b'day girl..
its a chocolate cake..yummy yummy~
ouhh~what a lucky girl..
all food was so delicious..*slurp~*

at there i met her mother's puppy..
namely popo..
she was a cute dog..
so sad i dint took her picture..='<
neway..we spent a great night there..

^me & bB^







US^^
smile happily~

baby come back..

hmm..just come back..
just now went to "The Beach Cafe"
but it is not located beside the beach..=="
just a name of the cafe..haha~
bb come pick me up..
long time dint see her ad..few months ad i think..
so glad to see her..she turn to be so charm..
"bB,so miss you a~"

dayna and elaine was there too..
haha..dayna..dint see her for months since she went to U.K..
she become much more pretty and fair..and she is thinner than before..
and and..haha..she know to drive ad..she own a license now..
remember last time i was teaching her how to drive manually..
she was so silly so funny..*cant stop laughing*
elaine..a siao po..just back from SG..dint much change..
still same..a siao po..haha..

*dayna & laine*

then..
we sit down and chitchat..
talk bout our life..our study..
blablabla..
what a nice gathering..

arh..tired..
have to sleep now..
nites..

unbeliveable

hi everyone out there..what cha doing?

hmm..as for today i have no class..
so as usual..i would sleep till i wake up myself..usually it will till the evening..*grins*
no strange..coz i really lack of sleep since i move to here..
haiz..feel nothing to do with,but i knew i got TONS of assignment to done and yet im lazy to do..
coz im realli tired..so so tired to do it..and also i have no mood to do..no idea at all..
coz of the name"miss.last minutes" i always done all my assignment the very last minutes..
that why my room-mates quite justice me..haha..=D

nothing to do with..so i bring my laptop to the college to online..
trying to do some references for my assignmentss and chatting..
suddenly..something shock n unbelievable happened..
Jen and the gang suddenly all around me..i was weird..
and then Jen told me that i was participate in the prince and princess contest..
and i was "HUH?! where got?dont simply say..i never take that.."
without saying any words..they try to find out by the website..
and it was..OMG~ i realli in for "The Ultimate Prom Nite"'s prince and princess voting part..
and i was the 1 among the 8 in my college..UNBELIVEABLE!!
i didnt acpect i can get in coz i was been force to participated..

Dick..my friend..his 19th birthday fall on today too..haha..wish him 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' here..
at night all of my friends gather in 44 to have a simple but memorable party for him..
although the food just only french fries..potato wedges..hotdogs..and cake..
but i ate till my stomach almost burst..hahas

been busy for the whole day..
its bed time..night!!

please feel free to vote for me..
http://www.8tv.com.my/theultimatepromnite/voting/col_kdupenang.asp
thanks alotss~